The end of a marriage can make anyone feel lonely or unwanted. Oftentimes, divorcing spouses believe dating is the answer to these woes, but doing so will only create more obstacles during this process. Although you might feel ready to explore the dating world again and find comfort in a budding romance, doing so this soon is generally not a good idea. Your best chance of building a new and healthy relationship is to wait until after your divorce is finalized.
Why is it Better to Wait?
From an emotional, legal, and financial standpoint, dating before your divorce is finalized is not the best choice. It can certainly help take your mind off some of your current worries and give your self-esteem the boost it needs, but these are temporary, short-term benefits. The best thing you can do at this time is be patient and heal from this experience. If you have children, you should consider their feelings and help them adjust to this change before you embark on a new relationship or reenter the dating scene.
Moreover, your decision to date might also have an impact on your ability to achieve an amicable settlement with your soon-to-be former spouse. No one wants to draw out this process, so focus on finalizing your divorce before you move forward in other areas of your life.
Here are some other reasons why you should hold off on dating for now:
- Your spouse might not be unwilling to cooperate with you: Even if your spouse is the one who initiated the divorce, it will burn a little to know you are with someone new. It might even raise questions regarding your fidelity during the marriage. If your spouse becomes uncooperative, your divorce will draw out, which will cost more money and result in more delays.
- Your children might be negatively impacted: Divorce can be a time-consuming process and, in addition to your usual obligations, you will also need to be available to your children. They will look to you for comfort during this difficult time and, if you are trying to cope with your own struggles by dating, you might not dedicate as much time as you should to addressing their needs.
- You need time for yourself: Your children are not the only ones who need time to heal. You need some time to reflect on what went wrong, so you can better understand what you want and need moving forward. If you do not take this time for yourself now, you might end up repeating the same mistakes. You owe it to yourself and your children to engage in some self-care before you start dating again.